i wish...

i was coming back from tokyo to the appartment where i was suposted to live with my bfriend. i wanted to surprise him so i didnt tell him i was comming home. i rang, he didnt open. heard some smiling inside and i went outside heartbroken. from the bilding came out cute little girl age 17 and him age 30.

that was 4 years ago, i was with him till 7 mounts ago. i asked him sooo many times about that, and all he had to say was that i was halucinating, that that never happende and that he doesnt even know that girl.

so 4 years latter, not being able to see her all the time around and feeling like she is laughing at me, i confronted her and him.

after 4 years living in lies, he told me i was right...via skype. now he wants me back, i love him but i just can not go on living with him after those 4 years ( of fighting, crying and going to therapies)

but i do love him...so now what?